A few days ago I wrote about Reflections; how I take time to reflect on the things I’ve been through in life. I wrote about how much I’ve grown over the past few years. How I felt about seeing my ex-husband’s Instagram page for the first time.
What I failed to mention, which is something that is very important. When people do us wrong and hurt us it’s a reflection of them (their bad behavior) not ours. His actions are a reflection upon him; it had nothing to do with me as a person. For the longest time I had forgotten that.
For years I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I did wrong for him to treat me the way he treated me. I kept thinking how I could have been a better wife? Was I the so called “cliche black woman”, was I too difficult? Did I not listen enough.? Did I nag and try to control him? I kept blaming myself.
Finally, I came to the realization that I cannot control someone else’s actions. I can only control myself. I know I did everything I could do to be a good wife. I know that I was the best wife. And at the end of the day us splitting up it had nothing to do with my actions he made the choice to leave.
And him making his Instagram page and making it seem like we never had a life together has nothing to do with me and everything to with him. I cannot control his actions and being upset over things we cannot control is a waste of time. It is a waste of my time, energy, tears, and my life! And most importantly, it doesn’t matter. I’m a better person because of the situation and it is silly to waste time on things that don’t matter, things that don’t contribute to my goals, and basically don’t make me (us) money!
Life is about growing and looking forward! A wise man once said, nothing good comes from looking back!