Being Independent is Tiring

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I’ve always considered myself to be an independent woman. Even when I got married at the age of 20, I was an independent woman. Or so I thought I was. I went to college, I worked full time and I paid my own bills.

Even though I had a husband, I paid my credit card, phone bill, insurance, etc. In addition to paying my own personal bills I took care of the household. I planned our vacations, I cooked dinner, walked the dogs , put money in our savings account, and made sure all our bills got paid on time.

And when my marriage fell apart, I just kept it moving. I continued going to college, work full time and paid all my bills myself. I never asked anyone for help. I did this for almost 5 years.

Two years ago, when my last relationship didn’t work out, I worked 2 jobs, ran myself into the ground doing everything myself. I was constantly telling everybody how great it was to be this independent woman who could buy my own things, pay all my bills, and not have to depend on anyone else. After a while it was just simply tiring.

I was working from 10:30 am-9:00 pm at night, 3 to 4 days a week. And the other days my shifts were 6 or 7 hours. I literally made myself sick. All this to call myself an independent woman? I know a lot of women don’t have to work these kinds of hours to make it, but some do. I did! All because I didn’t want to depend on anyone, especially a man.

But guess what? It was exhausting, and I was over it. Just because I could buy myself a nice purse or a ring doesn’t mean I wanted to. Working all these hours and 6 days out of the week only made me exhausted and I slept on my one day off.

If I was sick I couldn’t take off because I was taking care of myself. If I didn’t work, that meant no money was coming in. One day I felt like Charlotte from sex and the city and I said, “Where is my Knight in shining armor?”

Being independent is Bullshit!!

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