Who is Your Male Role Model?

Good morning beautiful humans, Happy Sunday! Thank you for spending part of your morning with me or maybe night depending on where you live in the world. Welcome to Life of Lane, my life through words, pictures, and food!

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Before I start I would like to say Happy Father’s Day to all of the father’s out there! Today is your day, do whatever makes you happy whether its playing golf, playing catch with your kids, drinking a beer on the patio, or sitting in front of the television in your underwear. I hope you have an amazing day!

A few months ago I wrote a blog called Black Women Matter. It was one of my more difficult blogs to write but I felt I needed to write it and I don’t regret it. Like I’ve said  before, “Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone!”

I received feeback from the lovely @therealchiclife and it was such wonderful feedback that it inspired me to write this blog today. After she read my blog and commented she was telling me about the great men she had in her life. She had an incredible father, uncles,  brothers,  and a very supportive husband.  

I responded to her that I had the exact opposite growing up. It made me want to share that I had absolutely no good male role models in my life growing up. I mean absolutely not one. I wrote a blog about my stepdad several months ago. He was an amazing man but he never actually married my Mother. I’m not saying he wasn’t a good role model because of that. I’m just stating a fact. 

I watched my Mom struggle to raise the five of us without complaining.  Meanwhile my Dad got remarried and didn’t seem to have a care in the world that his children down the street went without. 

Its quite the reality to think that my Dad knew my Mom was struggling and he did absolutely nothing to help her. Maybe I don’t know the whole story but I know what I lived through.

I saw not only my siblings and I grow up without a father, I saw my cousins, friends, and acquaintances grow up the same way. A bunch of single family households with Mother’s working overtime to provide with no male insight to help out. Maybe from time to time one would show up. Some were abusive, mean, and others out of touch with reality. 

Guess what? We all survived and we have God and our Mother’s to thank for that. We didn’t have male role models but in our case it was okay. Growing up with only my Mother as my support and guidance I turned out pretty damn good. So, my question today, for those of you that grew up in a single family household, did you have a positive male role model? If your parents were divorced, did your father or another male step in and show you how a man is supposed to treat his family after a divorce or still provide for this children?

Thank you for reading my blog. Please let me know your thoughts. Have a wonderful blessed day and always be kind! Follow me on Instagram @lifewithlane14

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9 thoughts on “Who is Your Male Role Model?

  1. I would see what dad would do and do the exact opposite. I am my own role model. You can b that too. Do the opposite of everything the men in your life have done. Hey it worked for George Castanza.

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    1. When I found a man I realize they were all the exact opposite of Dad 😂😂. People swear women look for their Dad’s when they find a mate. I am definitely not my own role model, lol! I’m nuts. Momma is my role model. She’s bad with money she likes the casino she didn’t go to college but with all she was dealt she raised us right! She put us first and her advice on relationships and life she’s always been right!

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  2. I think despite my struggles in life and having a father who was an inactive role model I turned out pretty well. I was lucky to have a strong bond with my grandfather and uncle. That being said- the pain and subsequently poor choices I made growing up as a result of not feeling “good enough” for my dad to care definitely could have taken me down a different path. We see the result in our society of people growing up without adequate love and support and I think that speaks volumes of our need to have that in our lives. Thanks for sharing this!

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  3. PS: my dad has grown and changed so tremendously that he is now an extremely active dad and grandpa in our family. What a gift to be able to forgive and start over. I am beyond grateful to him, especially after losing my mom.

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    1. That makes me really happy to hear that! My Dad has developed somewhat of a relationship with my 2 oldest sister’s and their kids ❤❤ he’s trying and that’s all that matters! Thank you for reading and commenting

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  4. Well I guess I don’t have one. I’ve seen how men treat women badly, how they disrespect each other and a lot more that shouldn’t be seen. Im not telling its all the fault of men. But guess the most beautiful part of it? If I ever get a son on my own, i want to make him a male role model 😊 because of everything I’ve been through and seen, i know how to grow him up with the right mindset. So yes let’s gift male role models to the world? 😃🤗

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  5. Great post! I too grew up with my dad right down the street for a while but no lacked all the fatherly qualities. As my brother and I got older, things got much worse. My mother was wonderful and did all she could but there still seemed to be something missing. Eventually I told my dad how he made is feel when I got older, which allowed me to move forward but my brother still has his issues with him. Fathers as well as mothers are so important in children lives, it’s a shame more men don’t recognize the hurt they cause in being absent.

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  6. Love your reflections here! It always makes me smile to hear you speak so fondly about your mom. She definitely did a good job with you. Thank you for referencing my previous comment. My thoughts are the same. The other day my daughter who is a young adult now had her first play. Her father was not present (as he lives out of the country right now) but her stepfather, her uncles and even a step-cousin (30s something adult male) showed up to cheer her on!

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